09-06-2012

Planned on being in bed by ten tonight.  Now that it's almost 11, I'm thinking midnight is more realistic.  Not sure what it is, just a lot on my mind as usual, I guess.  Had an odd and disturbing premonition tonight (not going into details, seeing it was pretty morbid and very visual), but it made me want to say something before bed.  I've got the tunes on loud since I no longer have an uptsairs neighbor, and the tv is on mute for the DNC.   Won't get into what I think of that, aside from saying it sure is interesting.  I hate to say I don't get the 99% thing, maybe only because I'm appreciative of the small luxuries I have, such as my a/c pumping deliciously cool air into the bedroom where I'll lay my head on 7 or 8 pillows tonight.  When I think of that, I wonder how much right I really have to complain.  Don't get me wrong~ I want more.  But I will not be looking at my government to supply it to me.  I'm constantly and furiously rifling through thoughts as to how to make it a reality of my own volition.  With not much success to date.

I almost sent a text to Keith tonight that if anything ever happened to me, I wanted him to know about my secret blog.  After giving it a second thought, it sounded like a pretty morose and out there statement, so I will leave it up to any one of my few dear friends who are aware of this useless blog (if anyone still bothers to read it- lol) to alert Keith of it's existence in the event I ever die in some odd manner before what I'd hope was my time.  What a gloomy train of thought.  So much of my life is him though.  His laugh, his smile, his arms around me.  And I guess I feel like he to this day doesn't get that.  How much he means to who I am.  I probably don't get him either.  I get the music.  I don't get the pins, the shows, shows, shows to the point of leaving all else behind.  Someday Phish will stop touring.  I want him to be happy and I hope he gets in as much as he can of that, but I hope when that ends he doesn't find himself lost.  I hope we're still together then.  By the way, Sample in a Jar might be my favorite.