Lifetime movies are more than a little bit cheesy with plenty of drama to boot, ergo, I feel I’m only a situation or two away from becoming a model candidate for a new lame movie on said channel.

Truth is, I was certain I’d become an export dispatcher and the superhuman powers I’ve been wasting all these years would suddenly enable me to become a hero. Help my fellow coworkers out of the trenches of despair, and we’d all succeed to triumph. Holy misguided notion. I’m failing- miserably. First and last time I faced this kind of failure was 1993—17 years ago. Many things in this world aggravate me, but the thing that bothers me the most is being ineffective. My first job working for Mark Hamister I learned the mantra, “Do you want to be a hero, or a zero?” in addition to “If you ‘re gonna say it, do it!”

As to the first—what the hell kind of question is that? Who wants to be a zero? Seriously… As to the second, “Here, here!”

Aside from bringing a mobile dog carrier to work and parking my dogs under my desk while I work 13+ hours a day, I’m not sure what else I can do in order to succeed, and help those I’m there to help. This is just silly. I had worries before I made this move that I was jumping from the frying pan into the fire, and it appears these worries were justified. Dear God, so many lame clichés! This may be a flawed system. I'm supposed to have off on March 17, and I don't think I can do it. It will only make the 18th that much more awful. Awesome, possumm.

Bottom line, I'm not used to sucking at my profession. And apparently, I do- ugh! I shall keep on keeping on- that's what I do!