So I wake up a lot during the night. So does Keith. Maybe b/c he has this tendency to constantly wrap himself up like a cocoon when he rolls over, and this leaves little in the covers department for me. So then I tug back and try to wrap us up equally. Summertime, I don’t care, but in the fall/winter, my feet get cold. Funny thing is, he talks in his sleep. Among other things last night, I heard, “Put it on your toast, for Pete’s sake!” Not sure what in the hell he may have been talking about, but the thing that got me is after he woke up a minute later I heard him click open his cell phone and saw the dim light from the display screen. So I ask the obvious question, “What time is it, baby?”

He fires back, “6:15.”

I’m like, “AWWWW,” because the alarm goes off at 6:20, and he immediately follows with, “It’s 4:30.”

Asshole that I love. Who wakes up from a dream sleep and immediately fucks with his lover like that?