Confession.... good for the soul?

Let me start by making it clear that by no means do I wish my first post to give the impression I'm less than mentally stable. I'm merely less than 100% fulfilled in a manner that would impress, say, Tony Robbins. I suppose I started this little cyber niche for myself today so I could have the freedom of blogging without feeling the need to censor myself due to the six degrees of myspace separation.

Yes, I'm 33 and I have a myspace. Pathetic? Perhaps mildly. I comfort myself by the fact that a fair number of my like-aged friends are mildly pathetic in that manner as well. My problem with the medium of myspace for blogging is divulging too much to those who know me. I don't wish to offend, nor do I wish to be judged. I find myself holding back on certain topics, usually with someone in particular in mind, depending on the topic. I have a list of "sore subjects"-- allow me to explain...

Sometimes I'd like to blog about Jason. Yes, I've succeeded in severing ties with him, and with no real effort or discomfort on my part, if you don't count missing him quite a bit. The fact that he's locked up several states away until July of next year made this feat possible. I kept it going from March thru June or July of this past year before I stopped financing the phone calls and writing letters and sending nominal amounts of cash via USPS money orders. My point is, if I write about Jay, it will inevitably piss off Ria and worry my sister.

Jay's sister is a myspace friend, and I've no idea if she reads my blogs, but I'd feel terrible writing about how I've moved on, especially after being so callous as to just stop writing Jay with no explanation, all after being so certain we were created expressly to be husband and wife. Although to be fair, I wasn't in possession of the best judgment during our union, as is evidenced by many of my actions and beliefs at that time.

And how about work? Never a good thing to bash one's place of employment online. While I usually don't mind my job, I have some days when I dont know how I control myself. Aside from a trusted coworker, I'm not sure who else at my place of employment might be out there trolling around on myspace. It's a sketchy situation.

My brother's ex girlfriend and mother of his child/my nephew subscribes to my blog on that Godforsaken social network, and sometimes I measure what I say with her in mind.

Lest I sound as if I believe I have a loyal following of myspacers eagerly awaiting my next post, I'd like to clarify that I obviously do not know who does or does not read my blog. Some days I'm able to write something I find amusing, some days I delete my post only moments later, because I realize I sound like a whiney asshole. I'm sure that will be the case here as well; I'm not kidding myself.

Just figured it would be nice to have the opportunity to ramble with a faceless reader in mind... incognito-style.